Meri’s Musical Musings

8 things parents should not say and do to a child who is studying an instrument (especially one that’s really passionate about it)

Posted on: April 2, 2012

(note: my parents, especially my dad, are guilty of most if not all of these)

  1. Threaten to break their instrument. Especially if it’s owned by the school, which you will be responsible for damages.
  2. Threaten to pull them from private lessons or their ensembles for ANY reason.
  3. Fail to go to their performances.
  4. Fail to provide private lessons with a quality teacher, especially when your older child or teen DEMANDS them
  5. Complain that you do not want to hear the child practice, even if they are playing at a high level. And be tolerant of the squeaks and scratches during the first 2 weeks to 2 months or so, it takes some time for people to learn to use their bodies in a new way.
  6. Discourage them from making it a career if they so desire, especially if they are the top chairs in high level ensembles or earn extremely high marks in music exams
  7. Fail to purchase a quality instrument, a professional grade one if the student is seriously thinking of it as a career.
  8. Make fun of the fact that they can’t play by ear or can only play from written notation. (most musicians making a decent to comfortable living are strong music readers, while only a very small number of those who only play by ear make enough to cover their expenses!)



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  • None
  • V V: Wish I had read this before I fell for their scheme ! Oh well - have posted my experience on Yelp and N49 and hoping others can avoid the pain of fal
  • clariniano: Thanks for the additional information. It was actually Yelp that deleted my reviews, because of so-called bias. I too have seen the horrible technique
  • No Thanks: Former Teacher at the Ontario Conservatory of Music I took lessons at the Ontario Conservatory and when I left for private lessons from another tea
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