Meri’s Musical Musings

You know you’re a musician when…

Posted on: October 30, 2011

  • your phone is unplugged for 2 hours or more a day so you can practice.
  • you are more worried about breaking a finger then breaking a leg.
  • Bach is not just a funny sound you can make in your throat.
  • the ringtone on your cellphone is a classical piece
  • when you think “checking the scales” does not involve weighing yourself
  • when practicing chromatic scales becomes more fun then bowling.
  • you have ever typed “minuet” for minute
  • you regularly type a similar looking music word for a non music word
  • you have ever typed “rectal” for recital, at least once realizing you sent it already without proofreading
  • you can name all the instruments in band and orchestras in correct score order (and sometimes backwards too)
  • you like to pretend the F-bomb word is a composer with a similar sounding last name (Fuchs)
  • you like to think of what instrument certain bodily noises sound most like
  • you know the differences between a glockenspiel and a xylophone (which is what most people call glockenspiels)
  • you hate it when people call music that doesn’t have words “songs” (BIG musical pet peeve of mine!)
  • you use “percussion” much more than the word “drums”
  • you spend more money on books, instrument supplies, private lessons, and classes then rent, food, and bills combined and you have more then one job to pay for everything.
  • the kids, if the musician ever has any, will often learn to read music before or at the same time as learning how to read words
  • you dream about little sharps attacking flats and whole notes falling in love with quarter notes.
  • playing The Flight of the Bumblebee is as easy as reciting the alphabet.
  • you know that normally The Flight of the Bumblebee is not that easy of a piece.
  • the words BAG, CAB, CAGE, FACE, GAB, CAFE and other words using the letters of the music alphabet represent written music notes
  • you know that CABBAGE and BAGGAGE are the longest words you can spell using only the letters of the musical alphabet
  • you have ever looked for and printed/bought sheets which they have to write the notes spelling the word, or a game with those music note words
  • you have ever tried to figure out if music notes on various objects are a real piece of music or just random notes
  • you enjoy getting a musical word in Scrabble, Search-a-words, and crosswords
  • the thought of taking a break, if only for a week, sounds crazy and suicidal. (Yep…)
  • you listen to PDQ Bach and get all of the jokes.
  • that irritating song that’s been running through your head for two weeks is by Mozart.
  • that irritating song that’s been running through your head for two weeks is from “Wozzeck” by Webern.
  • your notice you are drumming your fingers on the table to the rhythm of the classical music being played at the restaurant.
  • you walk down the hall singing the bass line to Beethoven’s 7th and you wonder why people look at funny.
  • you might be a musician if you consider Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring” marchable.
  • you prefer playing your instrument rather than having sex.
  • you know and can recite all the musician jokes and derivatives in score order!
  • getting the sniffles is a true catastrophe.
  • you walk around conducting the Verdi Requiem, Dvorak Requiem, Bruckner e-minor Mass, Beethoven 7, etc., and wonder why people are looking at you funny.
  • you can roughly translate any Latin text, but you’ve never taken a Latin class. (Trust me–it’s true… )
  • your co-workers can tell what you are listening to on your headphones by the way you are typing.
  • you’re willing to shell out $16 for a score to 4’33”.
  • you know what 4’33” is.
  • you know Tchaikovsky’s full name AND all its spellings.
  • you have played more instruments than the average person can name.
  • you own more in sheet music than in CDs, both in monetary value and number of pieces and books
  • you’ve neglected doing your homework to make more time to practice
  • you can define the difference between a sonata and a concerto.
  • you know 101 jokes involving either violas, French horns, or percussionists.
  • you know any jokes about players of any other specific instruments.
  • you took more semesters of foreign languages, that you hardly ever use, than English.
  • you have expelled more hot air than your average politician.
  • you actually cheered on the marching band in high school.
  • you have ever played anything by Bela Bartok.
  • you had carpal tunnel before computers became popular, or have injured yourself more times sitting down than standing up.
  • your idea of perfect harmony is singing in 4 parts.
  • Your kids, or if you ever have one, have a musical reference in their name
  • The combined value of your instruments is worth more than your car (if you even have a car!)
  • The value of any ONE of your instruments is worth more than your car
  • you have at least one music shirt
  • you can play a complicated piece of music, but cannot play “Happy Birthday” by memory
  • you can recognize what someone plays by the shape of their instrument case
  • your parents have to tell you to stop practicing and do your homework
  • you marry another musician
  • almost all of your friends are musicians
  • you can’t go out because you have rehearsals
  • you spend more time practicing than doing your chores
  • you read music blogs like this one
  • you have performed in several versions of Handel’s Messiah but never have gone to a performance as an audience member.
  • you are distressed when people sing “Happy Birthday” out of tune and off-key
  • you get lost if someone just gives you the words to a song, and not the music (unless you know the song well)
  • you name your pets after famous musicians or composers
  • you’ve played the tunes from many musicals in band or orchestra, yet you’ve never been to a production of one
  • you know what a Neapolitan chord is
  • you get more upset losing a rare or out of print piece of sheet music than a rare recording
  • you have more than one copy of some of your sheet music, yet that’s not the case with your recordings
  • you don’t understand how people in choirs can learn their music without reading it
  • you own at least one music themed item
  • you’ve learned some Italian, French, and German without ever taking a course in it.
  • you would never date or marry someone who was not a musician
  • you can recite the musical alphabet backwards and forwards very quickly
  • you try to figure out the pitches and intervals of sounds you hear
  • your licence plate on your vehicle has a musical reference
  • you think of Bieber as a classical composer, not a modern pop sensation (there is a classical music Bieber, altern. Biber)
  • your piano is more than a piece of fancy furniture
  • you have a piano tuning hammer in your home and have used it
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1 Response to "You know you’re a musician when…"

Hi Meri! Loved this list. Please contact me here or at mrickerby@yahoo.com . I have a question I would like to ask you. Thanks. – Mark

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  • None
  • V V: Wish I had read this before I fell for their scheme ! Oh well - have posted my experience on Yelp and N49 and hoping others can avoid the pain of fal
  • clariniano: Thanks for the additional information. It was actually Yelp that deleted my reviews, because of so-called bias. I too have seen the horrible technique
  • No Thanks: Former Teacher at the Ontario Conservatory of Music I took lessons at the Ontario Conservatory and when I left for private lessons from another tea
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